Cardiff is very much a city of dog lovers. However, owning a dog comes with its very own set of problems…
Having to fit in those walks – whatever the weather
During the summer months, there is nothing finer than strolling through fields, across meadows and even along bumbling along the local streets with the dog in tow. But come autumn, the walks get shorter and wetter. Come winter, and you’re looking up the telephone number of the local dog walker.
That moment you run out of poop bags on the walk
You’ve stuffed your pockets with what you think is enough poop bags to supply the local neighbourhood. What you weren’t prepared for was the fact that your furry little friend sometimes turns into an unstoppable pooping machine. Your bags disappear quicker than water in the desert. Before long, you reach into your pocket and to your horror, find what you were dreading all along – no more poop bags. This is where you explore your creative side, thinking up poop bag alternatives.
Sleep? What’s that?
You’ve had such a long day. You climb into bed early, desperate for an early night and catch up on some shut eye. Within seconds, you’re away with the fairies and all’s well.
But then you mutt decides that the house is being attacked by an army of alien invaders. Their sudden howling wakes you so rapidly that you wake up thinking that the postman is hammering on the door and you fly out of bed and down the stairs before you even open your eyes. Turns out it was just the old radiator cooling down that your dog was defending you from.
The smell of a wet dog
Even if you can persuade your dog to head out in the rain, you know that the return to the house is going to bring with it all kinds of problems. Firstly, there’s the fact that they have absolutely no regard for your newly-cleaned carpets and furniture. Secondly, there’s that mellow, slightly rancid smell of a wet dog drying out. It fills the house for days.
The whiff of dog food
As you know, dogs sniff and eat all kinds of rubbish. Whatever you buy for your fur ball, none of their foods smell particularly appetising. In fact, when you open the food, the warm waft of dog food reminds you of that time you were told to eat mum’s lamb and kidney suet pudding when you were a kid. Your good work is nearly always rewarded by your dog burping its appreciation right in your face afterwards – and it always smells as fresh as when you opened the tin.
Fur – everywhere
Unless you’re one of the lucky ones with a non-malting dog, you’ll know how the painters on the Forth Bridge feel – their job is never ending.
Your hoover bulges with the weight of dog fur and no matter how many times a day you hoover, there will always be a constant layer of dog fur in your house. Your best bet is to tell people that it’s a layer of fur that’s protecting your furniture.
Having received several new pairs of socks for Christmas, it’s quite normal for you to want to pop them on your feet and wear them.
‘Hm. I’m sure I left a pair of these here,’ you think to yourself before realising that your dog is unusually quiet. You can say goodbye to matching pairs of socks if you own a dog.
Following you around the house
Commercial TV breaks are the ideal opportunity to pop to the loo aren’t they? They’re just enough time to…oh…what’s this? Why are you following me? I’m only going to the loo. There’s nothing interesting to see here. Please. Go back to where you were – I’m just popping to the kitchen to pop the kettle on. Why are you following me? What are you…GET OUT OF MY WAY!
The Doorbell Problem
To your dog, a ringing doorbell suggests that there is an intruder trying to break into their property. Valiantly, your dog will warn away this intruder (usually a postman) by barking furiously and loudly. The intruder will naturally go away once he or she has delivered your mail. Your dog however, will consider their barking a great success at keeping intruders at bay. After all, it was their barking that made them go away wasn’t it?
Tangling leads with other dogs
It is dog etiquette to say hello to another dog by sniffing each other’s bottom. Unfortunately, if both dogs are on a lead, they tend to walk around in circles to do this, leading to what is known as ‘lead tangling’. You attempt to laugh it off with the words ‘Oh, they always do this don’t they?’ but find yourself even more tangled than you were originally when you step in to sort things out.
The disappointment when they reject the expensive bone you bought them
You can’t wait to get home to show them what you’ve bought them. It’s the biggest, juiciest bone you’ve ever seen – and you know that your pooch is going to be so happy to get stuck on it.
Sadly, they take one sniff of it and waddle over to pick up their old favourite. You leave the new one out festering for a few days before dropping it into the bin with a heavy heart.
No one can say exactly why squirrels drive dogs so crazy. It must be lodged deep in their DNA in the same way that spiders make us humans react.
Whatever the reason, one thing that’s guaranteed to make a dog move quicker than they speed of light is a squirrel. Nothing on earth can coax them away from a squirrel hunt.
Putting on puppy eyes at your feet when you are eating
You made the fatal mistake of feeding your dog from the hand when they were just a little puppy. And now every time you eat, you find a pair of very sad eyes looking up at you longingly.
It’s very tempting to pass them a morsel of food but you know that it really isn’t the right thing to do. Is it? No. But maybe I’ll just sneak them this piece – just this once. But don’t tell anyone ok?
Visiting the vets
It’s understandable that your dog won’t relish the thought of visiting the vet. After all, you hardly jump with joy when you have to visit the dentist do you? If you’re a real dog-lover, you’ll almost feel sorry for them, sat there quivering with fear as they are taken in to be examined. That’s until you have to fork out the rest of your month’s wages on the way out. You don’t feel so sorry for them then do you? Oh no.
The feeling of guilt when you leave the house without them
Well you are the only friend that they have in the world aren’t you?
Wanting to go out into the garden just to come back in again
They will time this so that you’ve just sat down to eat. A little scratch, scratch at the door will have you standing up with a sigh and heading to the back door to let them out. Your dog will wait until the very second that you’re sat back in your seat before scratch, scratching the door to be let back in again. It’s been scientifically proven that your dog does this so that they can have a secret laugh at your expense. Check for a very slight smile on their face the next time they come trotting back in.
Your dog barking at a toy thinking that they they can move it with the power of sound alone
It must be hard for a dog to figure out how to use a new toy. After all, they can’t read the instructions – it’s just presented to them with the expectation that they’ll know what to do with it. One thing they will try and do is move it with the power of sound. That’s right – they’ll bark and bark and bark at it before realising two hours later that they can chew on it.
Lack of bed room
It was all so relaxing before your dog arrived in the house. You could go to bed, safe in the knowledge that you could spread out any way you wanted.
These days, you wake in the night to find that you’re cornered in one side of the bed. You daren’t move in case they fall off the bed so you curl up in a small ball to avoid disturbing them. You eventually drag yourself out of bed when you have to get up and they quite happily jump in their own bed.